Personal Merits
by Scrawlers
Summary: Ootori Kyouya never did anything unless there was some sort of merit to be gained from it. Then again, there were different kinds of merits. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: **If I had my way, the anime would have gone past twenty-six episodes, somehow. But it didn't, and so what do you think that means in relation to my owning the franchise? Yeah, that's what I thought.

**Authors' Note: **I just finished re-watching Ouran (and was just as sad when it was over . . . yeah, _sure _the Host Club is waiting for me - that's why they _bailed _at twenty-six episodes!), and so this is just a little something-something that came to mind, especially during the episode about the Lobelia Girls' Academy Counterattack, in which Kyouya was the real hero of the day, even though he was just sort of behind the scenes, not telling anyone of his plan . . . Kyouya's always got their backs, no matter what. He's also my favorite character, wouldn't you know, but Tamaki comes in at a very close second.

Which is why this features them, I guess.

Anime-canon, as if you couldn't figure that out, given the fact that - from what I know of the manga - Éclair doesn't exist in the manga-canon. I haven't read the manga, so all I know about it, I know from Wikipedia. Yaaay, Wikipedia.

Oh, and I realize there's probably different variations of it, but I got "Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord" from the LunarAnime subs of episode seventeen, "A Holiday Kyouya Didn't Ask For." I lovelovelovelove that episode, but it's still not as good as twenty-four . . .

Anyway, please read and review.

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**Personal Merits**

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Ootori Kyouya did not take unnecessary actions.

Everything he did had a benefit to gain from it - a merit, so to speak, ordinarily of the monetary sort. Calculating, Kyouya could monitor situations flawlessly, weigh pros and cons in his mind and easily find the most rewarding path to take. It was why he was the manager of the Host Club - why the others were the ones who received all the designations while he handled finances. Kyouya knew how to put on a smile and be charming, but his place was behind the notebook or the laptop, working on maintaining the club's financial status while gleaning the highest profit possible for the club. It was a necessity, really; with how frivolous Suou Tamaki was, it was absolutely necessary for Kyouya to keep a tight watch on the expenses of the Host Club.

That being said, even in his every day life, Kyouya didn't waste his time. There was no reason for him to throw away precious minutes that could be better spent doing other things. Each part of his day was planned out; there was never a second of idle thought for him. His personal life was kept by a tight schedule. The only time he ever had time to relax was when he was showering or sleeping, and God forbid someone interrupt him during his sleep. He was known as the Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord for a reason, after all, and Kyouya had no problem living up to that nickname, especially since there were plenty of nights when he didn't fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning, having exhausted himself by working tirelessly the day before.

So when his cell phone started ringing at two in the morning, Kyouya generally wasn't a very happy person. He scowled in his sleep, keeping his eyes tightly shut as he swung on arm over, swiping the phone off the nightstand, only opening his eyes when he had it close enough so that he could read the name on the caller I.D. Once he got a proper look at it - as well as a proper look at the clock - Kyouya sat up, letting out a long sigh in order to ease the tension and irritation from his body as best he could before flipping open his phone.

"Hello, Tamaki," he greeted as coolly as he could manage, though his voice was still raw from sleep.

After Haruhi had managed to bring Tamaki back from almost marrying Éclair, life had seemed to return to normal. Tamaki was still as frivolous as ever, bouncing from activity to activity as energetically as his golden retriever, reestablishing the Host Club along the way. He was still as attached to everyone in the club as ever, still somehow in the dark about how he felt about Haruhi . . . He was Suou Tamaki, and despite the disaster that they had only narrowly avoided, it was as if their lives had never been interrupted.

Starting one month after that taboo incident, though, Kyouya would get phone calls in the middle of the night from Tamaki. They were few and far between, and as hard as Kyouya tried to figure it out, there was no logical pattern to them - though, this fact hardly surprised Kyouya, for there was really nothing logical about Tamaki at all. Still, while he'd answered the first call in a none-too friendly manner, he had learned quickly afterward that doing so was a mistake. Like any other venture, Kyouya had to take the phone calls with the greatest amount of grace, with the greatest amount of gentle behavior, even if it was two in the morning, even if he'd only fallen asleep an hour before, even if it meant that he could possibly be awake for the rest of the night.

Even if there was no visible merit.

"Kyouya." As always, Tamaki's voice sounded choked, near tears, and Kyouya waited patiently for Tamaki to continue, even though he could already predict the question that was going to be thrown his way. "Kyouya . . . Am I selfish?"

It didn't matter how many times they had this conversation. It didn't matter how many days passed. Kyouya's answer to Tamaki's question would never change.

"You called me at two in the morning to answer your question. I believe the answer is fairly self-evident, Tamaki. Yes, you are."

Kyouya heard a sharp intake of breath from the other line, and as always, he waited patiently, drumming his fingers in a slow rhythm on his bedspread. Finally, Tamaki spoke again, his voice shaking even more terribly than before.

"I - I'm sorry, Kyouya! I - I'll hang up right a - "

"Don't you _dare_ hang up on me, Tamaki," Kyouya growled, and if he wasn't mistaken, he heard Tamaki whimper on the other end of the phone. Kyouya smirked. Even when he wasn't face to face with another person, his residual temper as the Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord still held a tremendous amount of power. Kyouya waited a few more seconds to ensure that Tamaki was listening before he went on to ask, "Why did you call to ask?"

"I - I was thinking," Tamaki began, before his words began pouring faster than Honey-senpai could devour cake. "I was thinking about - well - Haruhi's staying in the Host Club even though you said that her debt was paid off - is it because of me, Kyouya? Is my precious daughter staying in the Host Club because she feels burdened by my selfish desires, because she feels obligated to bend to my will because she is a commoner surrounded by a sea of wealth and - "

Kyouya began to tune Tamaki out, leaning back against his pillows and staring up at his ceiling as the Host Club's King went on a lengthy, shaky tangent, pouring out his heart and soul for Kyouya to hear. Anyone who knew Kyouya would know that he wasn't the best person to go when you wanted therapy; he was the least touchy-feely member of the Host Club, even less kind than Mori-senpai would appear, and he would be the first to tell you that he was ignoring you if there was no merit involved. And, as Haruhi would have pointed out if she knew about the two A.M. phone calls, there was no visible merit. Kyouya wasn't gaining any profit by listening to Tamaki's woes. No one knew about the phone calls aside from Kyouya and Tamaki, so it wasn't as if there was any social gain, either. In fact, it would seem that the only effect it had on Kyouya was a negative one, since it cut into his hours of precious sleep. The mere fact that he'd even answered his phone instead of muting it was baffling, and the fact that he at least pretended to listen to everything Tamaki had to say was equally as shocking.

" - just can't help but wonder if I really _am _selfish - if I really made the right choice by coming back," Tamaki finished weakly, finally ending his tirade. Kyouya had made sure to pay attention to at least the last bit of what Tamaki said, and he closed his eyes briefly before continuing.

"Tamaki, you are an idiot."

"W - What?"

"You heard me," Kyouya went on, pinching the bridge of his nose - the skin on either side was still soft, slightly indented from the pads of his glasses. "Do you not remember what happened when you tried to leave? Honey-senpai, Mori-senpai and I stalled members of the Ootori Secret Police in order to ensure that Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi could go after you. Haruhi took the reins of the horse carriage in order to go after you - ended up falling off the bridge in an effort to stop you from making another one of your stupid decisions."

"All because of me," Tamaki murmured, sounding pained. "Because I - "

"Yes, you are selfish," Kyouya interrupted, sparing no time for Tamaki to go on another self-pitying rant. "However, your selfishness is hardly detrimental to our health. If we wanted to be rid of you, Tamaki, we would be. I have the Ootori Secret Police under my command again. It would only take a single order for you to be eliminated."

Tamaki chuckled a little on the other end of the line, but upon hearing no sign of humor from Kyouya, the laughter ceased immediately. Kyouya smirked again, imagining the expression of horror on Tamaki's face. Ticking off his fingers, Kyouya began to count. _Three, two, one - _

"K - Kyouya, you wouldn't really . . . ?"

_Right on schedule. _Kyouya didn't say a word, but he made sure that his chuckling was audible, and he heard Tamaki gulp in nervous fear. Kyouya let the thought hang for a few more seconds before he changed the topic, steering it back to where it had originally begun, allowing the false threat to wiggle its way deep into Tamaki's subconscious.

"Tamaki, you are selfish, unbearable, obnoxious, simple-minded, immature, and ignorant in the best of times. However, if you try to leave Japan and dissolve the Host Club again, I assure you, Haruhi will not be alone when she follows after to drag you back - and this time, the return trip will be much more unpleasant."

Once again, Kyouya was able to perfectly time the beats of silence that passed before Tamaki answered. "Kyouya . . . do you mean that? If I'm really that selfish - "

"Yes, I really mean it," Kyouya interrupted. If he was running on even a little more sleep, or if the situation were more dire, Kyouya would have allowed Tamaki to continue. As far as he was aware, though, Tamaki hadn't already purchased a plane ticket out of Japan, and this was merely another regression back into the mindset that Éclair, amongst others, had backed him into. That being the case, Kyouya was not about to sacrifice what little sleep he could still gain before he had to be awake for school. "Now shut your idiotic mouth and go to sleep."

Kyouya heard Tamaki laugh a little, and in the darkness of his room, he allowed a small smile to grace his own lips. "Kyouya . . . thank you."

"Mm." Kyouya was about to hang up, but just as he started to pull his phone away from his ear, he paused, his wry smile transforming into a smirk. "Oh, Tamaki?"

"Yes?"

"I will be seeking retribution for this early morning phone call," Kyouya informed him in a falsely pleasant voice. "No one wakes me with impunity."

"What?! Kyouyaaaaaaa - !" Kyouya snapped his phone shut, cutting Tamaki's terrified wail short, laughing quietly to himself. Reaching over, he set his cell phone back upon his bedside table, plopping unceremoniously back down onto his pillows and pulling his blankets over him. He made the same threat to Tamaki at the end of every one of their phone calls, and he knew that Tamaki knew (deep down) that nothing would really come of it. Still, if he was going to be awoken in the wee hours of the morning simply to comfort Tamaki and assure him that nobody wanted him to leave, then he was going to get a bit of entertainment from it as well.

There was no visible merit from comforting Tamaki. He wouldn't gain any monetary or social reward for it. In fact, as he had told Haruhi in a commoner's shopping mall once, there were plenty of times when he put up with Tamaki when there was no visible merit. But, when Kyouya looked back on what his life had been before Tamaki rudely intruded upon it, and when he examined just how he and the rest of the Host Club had felt upon learning that Tamaki was leaving Japan - and the Host Club - forever, Kyouya could easily admit to himself that some merits were far greater than monetary or social benefits. Some were much more important than money, prestige, or even sleep.

Of course, Kyouya was the only one who would ever hear such thoughts. Like _hell _he was going to let that idiot Tamaki hear such things any time soon. If he did, the next thing he knew, the phone calls would become a nightly occurrence, and if that was the case, Tamaki would quickly find out how easily Kyouya's false threats could become a reality, personal merits or not.


End file.
